People always wonder why some relationships fail while others blossom. The key to a successful relationship is to carefully go through the five stages of relationships to build a stable and lasting relationship.
Understand the stages and the knowledge will help you navigate through every stage successfully without getting stuck in any one of them. The stages guarantee you success in your relationship.
Romance is vital in any relationship. This is the stage where people fall in love. Nature forces you to fall in love by drawing you closer to that special someone. However, it does not happen with just anyone because nature has a bias towards survival of the species. Nature ensures the survival of the species through adaptation and growth.
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It is the stage where commitment to love and bliss happens. The persons experience a strong urge to enjoy each other’s company and to have sex. In simple terms, it is the dating stage and lovers experience a dump of natural chemicals like dopamine, norepinephrine, and phenylethylamine.
Power struggle stage
It is at this stage that people experience a high percentage of divorces. It can come around 3 to 4 years after the initial stage. It is a painful time, and lovers start feeling that romance was just an illusion that never lasts forever. Feelings of disappointment and anger grow as lovers start to see the flaws and differences in each other instead of the similarities.
Often, it results in partners pulling away from each other, asking for more space as the other partner endlessly chases them and feel emotionally deserted. As a couple, you can either break-up or survive. Most partners who choose to break-up end up being serial daters, always looking for love, get disappointments, and never commits fully to any relationship.
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On the other hand, couples who choose to survive go through the frustrations and pain together and embrace their flaws and disappointments. Usually, the couples believe relationships are all about compromise and sacrifice. It is the best way to go about the relationship.
The thrill of falling in love re-emerges. Your feelings are more mature and deeper than it was in the romance stage. It becomes apparent that you cannot change your partner. Couples are okay with their differences and set clear boundaries to enhance mutual respect.
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Couples surrender to the reality that they are both humans and they all have shortcomings. Couples learn to love each other and start becoming honest with each other. At this stage, couples experience a beautiful balance of belonging, love, freedom and power. The trap is thinking you have all your desires. However, the real work as partners begins from here.
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Co-creation / bliss stage
It is the stage where couples have to choose whether to work as a team and move beyond their relationship to realise a bigger purpose. Often, couples start working on a project together and make contributions to the world through family, charities, or business.
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The five stages are not linear, but more likely circling or spiralling upwards. Retain the lessons you learn at each stage and bring them forward to strengthen and grow in the next stage. You must learn to accept your differences as a couple, or you will always be coming back to the power struggle stage.